On Greek Life

I really like trap, but realized I haven't put any on here, so here's one of my favorite songs that's on the shorter side.

FinD Me, by marshmello
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I've been so busy I completely forgot to record my brief experience with joining Greek life on campus two months ago.

Before applying to any colleges, I had fully intended to go out and join a sorority. Like, I'd ask colleges while touring about their Greek life activity on campus. But then I came to my university, where people in that scene are more like the kinds in the movies  - lots of pretty floral dresses and killer heels and curly blonde hair - and less like the kinds you'd expect. So I forwent an application and, except for one party at the beginning of the year (dragged along by a girl on my floor, and I ended up leaving maybe 30 minutes in), I expected it to be the last of sororities that I'd see.

A different topic - in Biology and Chemistry last semester, I became friends with a girl who coincidentally also happened to be in both of my lectures. She had some other friends in Chemistry, and we all sat together. This semester, one of those friend-of-a-friend girls (whose name is strikingly similar to mine, I thought she was typing my name when she was typing in her contact info) had tried to rush for a sorority, Sigma Psi Zeta, last semester, but there was some mishap with her mailed grades and she couldn't go through. She was trying again this semester, and invited me to go along with her.

We met up maybe an hour before it was time, during which she told me it was an Asian interest sorority - separate from the Panhellenic campus groups - and I understood why she invited me. The girls were really nice, and I met another girl with blue hair there too. But, to be honest, it was too overwhelming for me. I pride myself on being really nice to strangers, but it was hard when I had about 20 different names thrown at me at once and I couldn't even remember who was who.

The next night was themed Canvas and Mock-tail night. We were given canvases to paint on, and told that they would later be donated to either a struggling school or an orphanage (I can't remember which. Somewhere kids were struggling and needed motivation). So, me being me, I started running through all the meaningful Harry Potter quotes in my head. I settled on, "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

But I only had a tiny little 4x4 inch canvas, so the quote turned out more like:

I hope whichever kids got it, liked it.

I wasn't really intending to join, I just went along for something to do both nights. This was during a time when I was trying to plan my summer, and as I was really busy I declined to add one more thing to my plate and pen a bunch of sorority events into my already busy calendar. I was busy internship/job hunting, I was getting tickets for my return flight for spring break (which I am on now), I was looking up colleges for studying abroad, I was finishing essays and projects and oral presentations, I was apartment hunting.

On top of all that, I was also planning a month-long trip around Europe with an old high school friend for summer, and I was corresponding with her everyday on whether it was feasible or not, so I was just generally not in a mood to waste my little free time in uncomfortable situations. I ended up skipping the last rush day, and I don't really regret it. I don't think it was big enough yet to create connections that Greek life is famous for, unlike Alpha Phi (the huge sorority my grandmother was a part of, and wanted me to join. She even offered to write a letter of rec. for me.*)

I'm still really good friends with the girl who invited me, and I met a new girl too who's also in the same sorority and the same biology class. I'd like to believe I made the right choice, but since I still have very few friends, I sometimes wonder if I should legitimately try next semester. It's a good gate to many new friends at once, plus their sibling fraternity (I forgot the actual term, I don't think it's sibling) - double the friends all at once.

But I've been thinking, and I'd rather meet people through classes. Chances are interests will be more similar that way, and it's usually only one person at a time. I don't have enough confidence to talk to multiple people at once anyways.

That concludes my brief experience with Greek life.

*I just realized, it was the Romans who placed emphasis on connections and family history and letters of recommendation. Interesting that "Greek" life has adopted that practice. Yes, I know all that from the Percy Jackson books. Sue me for such "credible" sources.

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I FINALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT.

FOR THE FIRST TIME, I DID SOMETHING AND IT WAS RELEVANT FOR LATER I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF GOOD JOB ME.

In high school, I had this brief thing of researching a new organism every week and writing down a brief summation of what I had learned. Some of the organisms were the sensitive plant, the maned wolf, and the living rock. One week, I went through my list of favorite plants and decided to research welwitschia, or Welwitschia mirabilis. Link takes you to my post with detailed research.

To recapitulate, it's a succulent plant, consisting solely of two leaves, that is considered a living fossil (like the horseshoe crab) because it's barely evolved since it first appeared in the fossil history.

In one of my more recent biology lectures, we just started studying plants - mosses, ferns, vasculars, and up. In the introduction slide, I recognized a picture of welwitschia showing up (along with a horsetail, which I also recognized at it's pretty common near freshwater sources in California)(I just realized I should clarify, horsetail is a type of reedy plant - not an actual horse's tail).

This excited me because this was the exact reason I started studying random organisms - to further my knowledge and know things before they are formally taught. I wasted no time in telling my friend (the sorority one) what that plant was, and since this isn't the first time I've told her random trivia about biology, she said, "I wish I had your brain."

If only she knew, she wouldn't say that.

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Shameless self-promotion about to happen.

This was also done as another birthday gift. Much longer than usual, but I couldn't bring myself to cut out any of the lyrics. 

Songs used: 

Things We Lost In the Fire, by Bastille

Low, by Coldplay

I'm thinking, as long as I keep this hobby up, there's gonna be one of my videos at the end of every post now.  I'm probably going to start posting non-photoshop mashups at the beginning now too. Too much confidence.

Snow Is Like Communism

Better in theory than practice.

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Drop Dead Cynical, by Amaranthe
(R.I.P headphone users)



I really want to see I Prevail this summer, and if I have to drive back out to college three states away to see it with friends then goddammit that's what I'm going to do. But they aren't the headlining group - Amaranthe is. I figured I better listen to their stuff, and I found this GEM on Spotify. I can't stop listening to it.

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I saw the trailer for Chappie way back in January, and I really, really, really, really want to see it. It looks like another one of those feel good movies where humanity prevails and family pulls together and it just makes you smile leaving the theater. However, since I have a lot of homework this weekend, plus a test to study for, I'm postponing watching it. However, I do have some opinions on the topic of AI, and I've been compiling them in a different draft.

It's taking me a while to write though, because in high school a lot of my friends were/are into electrical engineering, and whatever those people are called who focus on building electrical appliances (apologies for not knowing the name, they are very important and key members of our tech-centered society). These friends were mostly all staunch supporters of the progression of AI, and I was always afraid they'd get mad at me if I told them my opinions were slightly different than theirs. Ergo, I'm very careful with my wording and making sure my stance is perfectly clear. Ergo ergo, that takes time.

Chappie is SO CUTE THOUGH. He has these two antennae-like receivers on his head that look like rabbit ears, and the animators use them like animals ears - when there's a scene where Chappie is nervous or scared, the antennae fall back parallel to the ground. When he's excited or happy, they stick straight up. It's almost like personification, but animalification - giving a robot animal-like qualities.

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That makes me think of 6th grade English, when we first formally learned about personification and onomatopoeia and metaphors and whatnot. We were told that whenever an animal exhibited human-like behavior, it was personification. But now that I'm thinking about it, we label a lot of universal emotions as belonging to humans only. Crying, for example. Holding of funerals. When in fact a lot of animals can also do these things (Rats can laugh, for instance - that's one of my favorite links). A happy rock, or a proud nation - I think that's personification. But saying animals exhibit human-like emotions is silly.

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I just shaved my legs for the first time in four months two nights ago. I feel like a beluga whale.

SO SMOOTH

FEEL MY LEGS

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I went to the Downtown Denver aquarium yesterday, as a class trip with my Island and Marine Ecology class (plus the Oceanography class). An interesting thing is that there are so many people at my college that I see dopplegangers of my high school friends everywhere, and consequently I frequently do double takes. I had two double takes on that trip alone.

On the topic of the actual aquarium itself - meh. I guess it's hard to be impressed by an inland aquarium when you've grown up by the ocean and gone to aquariums located on the actual shore, but it wasn't bad. They had a mantis shrimp, which I thought was cool because apparently they can break aquarium glass so they aren't often kept in captivity. They also had Cassiopeia jellyfish, which anyone who's gone to any good aquarium has seen. They're the ones trolling around upside down on the bottom of the tank:

Yeah. Those idiots. Evolution works in strange and mysterious ways (lol evolution is no mystery. It's pretty clear how it works).

They also had three Sumatran tigers? And an animatronic orangutan?

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I live in a single room in my dorm, so I'm often alone. I figured I would go to a friends room (she lives in a different dorm off campus) because she said she needed to study and so did I. Because of the aquarium trip, I didn't have breakfast or lunch until 3:00 PM so we got a 14" pizza. It was delicious.

The cool thing is that her roommate decided to transfer colleges to be with her boyfriend in Texas, so now she has an empty bed. We got carried away and by the time I thought I would leave (around midnight) we found out the bus wasn't running anymore due to daylight savings. I ended up staying the night, and didn't get back until a couple of minutes ago. So basically, I just lived somewhere else for 24 hours. It's kind of weird that you can do that. Even regular sleepovers don't last that long. I like to think that if I had had a roommate, that's what we could've done all the time.

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I found out today you can't recycle plastic spoons or Pringles cans.

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Last weekend we had a huge snowstorm that dropped about 3-4 feet of snow, and it's still on the ground. However, right now it's a balmy 46 degrees out so I'm hopeful that was the last snowfall we'll see. But I still stand by what I said earlier. Snow is much prettier from inside a building. I don't have any snow boots, so I can't exactly go tromping through the drifts like I'd like, and if I counted the amount of times I almost ate some on the way to class I'd have to have an extremely impressive memory capacity. Plus, hot salt smells gross (They scatter salt to melt the snow on pathways, but it gets stuck in boot treads. The first set of doors in my dorm opens to a small room being blasted with heat, presumably to heat you up from the cold, but it makes the salt STINK).

I was walking around late one night though, and the snow was glittering like you'd see in the movies. My neck, nose, and ears were painfully cold, but that kind of snow kind of made up for it.

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I showed the friend I stayed with last night my "album" of compiled mashup songs, three of which were my own. I didn't tell her which ones were mine though, because I wanted her to honestly tell me which ones she liked. I was therefore overjoyed when one of mine, Clock Kids, started playing and she told me she really liked it. I think that's what's given me the confidence to put it up here.

This time the album artwork only took an hour for me to do, but I had to cut out 30 minutes still for it to fit in the music duration. I made it with the intention of giving it to my dad for his birthday because he really likes Coldplay, as the last time I showed him a sped up video he got really excited.

I don't think just one is enough though, so I'm already working on another Coldplay mashup for him, made up of Things We Lost In the Fire by Bastille, and Low by Coldplay.

It's more fun to make up my own album covers than to just crop two existing covers together.

I'm very self critical, so I can hear all the places where I messed up the cues, but it's not bad, especially given the quality of the acapella version of Cool Kids I had to work with.

Songs used:
Cool Kids, by Echosmith
Clocks, by Coldplay

Natural or Enhanced Beauty?

I'd been scanning through the Buzzfeed YouTube videos* as of late when I came across an interesting pair of experiments: Girls who wear makeup going without it for a week, and girls who never wear makeup wearing it for a week. The two videos are called "What It's Like To Stop Wearing Makeup" and "What It's Like To Start Wearing Makeup."

*There are a lot of SJWs in the comments of Buzzfeed. A LOT, most of them unjustified and just looking for an argument. There are also a lot of meninist-like comments too. Generally a lot of sexist people looking to be offended. I try to avoid the comment section when watching Buzzfeed videos.

Basically, the girl who did wear makeup a lot felt very vulnerable and self-conscious without it. She felt like people were judging her more, she didn't believe people who told her she looked good without makeup, and she lost a lot of confidence. The worst part was when someone told her, "You look tired."

Pro tip, don't tell someone they look tired. I wouldn't even tell my closest friends that, and I'm notorious for being sarcastically mean (Though I always try to pair it with a large smile, and I try to deliver the line in a way that it's clear I mean the opposite. I only use these comments on people I know will know it's just my brand of awful funny - I'd never say it to an acquaintance, and I'd never make fun of bodily features). I can't even think of any exceptions to that rule, and I'm the one who believes that there are always exceptions. It's kind of like never asking a girl if she's on her period.

(Never.)

On the other hand, the girl just beginning to wear makeup also lost a little confidence. She also felt like people were staring more, and was a bit uncomfortable with the attention (she also noted that while girls were perceptive of her change and complemented on her new lipstick or eyeliner or whatever, guys noticed something was off but couldn't quite place it). She tried to justify wearing makeup by saying it was for an experiment, instead of just thanking them for the compliment.

However, in the end both girls got used to it in less than a week. The first one decided she felt more comfortable without makeup than she did before, and the second one admitted that, as a girl who didn't wear makeup, it was hard to say that makeup made her feel more confident.

I know people who dislike makeup, and I know people who wear it every day. It's never been a concern of mine what they do - like I would never try to tell them they would look better if they "enhanced their beauty" or went with the "natural look." Whatever they like to do, I go with it (Though I did like to do other girls makeup for them for formal events if they'd let me, because it was fun painting on another person's face for a change).

Personally, I wear makeup to hide my imperfections. I'm not a confident girl; foundation/powder hides my flaws and eyeliner helps my eyes not be so mole-small. But those are the only things I do, and I can put it all on in 10 minutes or less (though I usually don't because I drag my feet in the mornings). Yes, the money I use on makeup can be spent on other things - books, concert tickets, iTunes, food - but that's my own choice. Besides, there are plenty of cheap brands at drug stores; I'm not into the top-notch stuff you see on TV commercials. I could buy two eyeliner pencils for the price of one Five Guys burger - and guess which will last longer?

(I started wearing makeup in the beginning middle school, but only eyeliner for my bottom lids. That pencil? I still have it after eight years, with a good inch and a half left of it. That's how sparingly I've used it.)

If I had better skin though, I wouldn't wear makeup at all. I'd much rather sleep in than slather warpaint on my face. Until that day comes though, I'll use it. Besides, I've gotten really good at winged eyeliner - a skill that took me four years to really master.

However, the people who say "Makeup is bad" purely because it supports the patriarchy's control over women (making them buy things they don't need) and things along that line are the people I have a problem with. There's feminism - supporting women in whatever they want to do, even if they want to be a housewife or a stripper. Then there are the feminazis - those who are 100% against all males (though they claim they want to end sexism); those who get angry at any woman who changes her natural appearance in any sort of way; those who'd get mad at you for shaving your legs. I feel like it would be those kinds of people who'd get mad at me for wearing makeup, and for being so weak and insecure as to not face the world with a bare face.

If makeup makes me happier, if it makes me more confident (a serious problem of mine), why should I stop? Why should I be unhappy to fulfill their skewed utopian world?

I will admit, there are some people who say they wear makeup solely for themselves - they do not wear makeup for other's benefit, and I do not really believe that. I do not wear makeup for myself, I wear it to impress others. After all, I do not put on a full face and then stay in all day trolling the internet, do I? That'd just be a waste of product and putting it all on isn't that fun. At least for me. As I stated earlier, there are always (usually, haha) exceptions.

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Oops, my hand slipped:

I did this about a week ago, a few days after the Owl City one, at the request of a Coldplay song from my dad. I've also started making mashups of my own, but no way I'm ready to post them. Refer confidence problem above.

Link to Wide Awake On Paradise Boulevard (the original name, I took a few liberties): http://youtu.be/Hho9gQccPCI

Owl City Nostalgia

It's only been two days and I've already created another album artwork. When I get obsessed, I go full out.

I had two favorite bands for the duration of high school. Owl City was the one I told people about. I listened to Adam Young's songs so many times that I memorized every lyric (no small feat, as this was a time before he began utilizing a common chorus). I could even associate melody with title - also a difficult thing to do as, much like Fall Out Boy, his song titles didn't often appear in the song itself.

So this time I typed "Owl City mashup" into the YouTube search engine, and while there (sadly) weren't a lot of options to choose from, I did find a video composed of only Owl City songs - "How I Became the Sea," "Cave In," and "Galaxies." Excellent song choices, as they were all among my favorites (though I did have many).

(Once again, check to make sure it's playing in HD.)

Original song

I think the cloud formation to the far left looks like a dragon's skull. Didn't plan it.

A lot of the stuff might look oddly easy; for instance, the whale and words selecting themselves with the moving dotted line to get rid of the background, or the words suddenly turning pink at what seems a simple click. But I actually just edited the processes out because they were so time consuming. I had to trace around the whale and each individual letter, and I had to paint over the words manually because they were black and didn't show up against the dark blue. You can't change the hue of black, like I later did once the words were painted pink.

Last time, the cover for "Applause Miss Jackson" took around 20 minutes to make, and shortened down to three minutes when sped up by 8.5x. 

This cover took nearly two hours. I've never photoshopped something of this scale before, so I guess it's understandable. My first try editing it resulted in a video eight minutes long - 3 minutes over the song limit. I had to give up on that version and start a Mark 2. This one I cropped out and edited so much that the video was reduced to four minutes when sped up by 8x. 

TL;DR, the first video was shorter pre-editing, but had to be sped up faster. This video was nearly five times longer pre-editing, but didn't need to be sped up as much to match the song length.

I think it's because I got really carried away cutting out parts of the video I didn't think were necessary. It was like editing a high school essay all over again - the teacher tells you to edit your essay by one page, and instead you accidentally crop out two and a half. So when I found out the video was only four minutes long but the song was five, it was like the angels came swinging down from heaven.

Or from the galaxies, I should say.

Learning Useless Things (And Other Forms of Procrastination)

(Let me first address the hiatus between New Year and Now.

I because unwilling to continue blogging at the beginning of January. Last time this happened was about two-thirds of the way through senior year of high school. I had created a schedule to keep up with - write every Friday - and when I became dissatisfied with the forced writing, I stopped altogether and didn't resume until about a month before college started.

This time when I became dissatisfied, I didn't force myself. I stopped writing (though I must have at least 6 drafts with potential ideas). So that's why, instead of months of inactivity, I've only taken a break of a month and a half.)

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I've, of late, gotten bored with my college routine. Wake up, go to class, take notes, do homework, eat, do more homework, sleep, repeat. This semester, I'm taking three science courses and only one humanities class, as opposed to last semester's two of each. Ergo, the math load has increased a lot and I'm missing my art hobby of high school. I wasn't meant to study so much math.

On an unrelated subject, I've recently gotten into song mashups. I like to put in an artist's name plus the word "Mashup" into the YouTube search bar, and see the most popular results that come up. Whatever I like, I follow their link to the download. I've found 12 songs so far, most of them composed of songs you wouldn't think go well together, but do.

I lied. These two subjects are actually very closely tied together. See, downloaded songs have no album artwork, and I loathe looking at the default album cover on my phone. So I decided to make my own album artwork. I have a drawing tablet, and Photoshop installed, so why not?

This solves my problem of being tired with math. However, I am fully aware it's just another one of my many forms of procrastination. Time I spend creating album artwork is time I could've spent studying, and since I am basically teaching myself how to navigate the many tools, it takes about an hour for me to do what a seasoned veteran could do in 10 minutes (though I am getting better and faster each time). It's even worse that learning how to use Photoshop is completely useless for my career.

Bearing that in mind, I've created 11 album covers so far. What? I thoroughly enjoy doing it, and it relaxes me. The third week of January and the second week of February have been the most stressful since college application days - probably even more. For college applications, it was just one thing I had to worry about. In January, I was juggling seven separate events/projects - most of which would affect the scheduling of another, and then that of another, and so forth. I had no clue which I wanted to prioritize and then schedule things around.

But I don't regret making these album covers. I really like how they turned out, and am really proud that, except for one short video tutorial, I figured out the basics of Photoshop all by myself. So I decided to up the bar and learn one more completely useless skill - iMovie.

I've recorded and edited a video of me making my latest album cover, with a montage tacked on the end showing the progression of all the covers I've made to date. It's a pretty good visual of how much I've improved - or at least, of how much more complex they look.

(Check to make sure it's at 720 p, or in HD. Idk why it doesn't automatically go to that when the video is capable.)

Sorry about how fast the pictures flash by at the end, but I was running out of song. 

Corresponding Songs to Album Artwork

Listed in order of appearance

1. Applause Miss Jackson (Lady Gaga, Panic! At The Disco)   <--
2. Radioactive in the Dark (Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy)   <--
3. United States of Pop, 2009 (Greatest Hits of 2009) <--, and There Is a Power Greater Than Me (see link for artists - there must be ~20)
4. People Like Caraphernelia (Kelly Clarkson, Pierce the Veil)  <--
5. Boulevard of Cool Kids (Green Day, Echosmith)  <--
6. If I'm Figure 8, You're Overlap (Sleeping with Sirens, Ellie Goulding, Paramore)  <--
7. This Is Black Widow (30 Seconds To Mars, Iggy Azalea)  <--
8. Check Yes Dear Maria (We The Kings, All Time Low)
9. Princess of Sins Not Tragedies (Coldplay, Panic! At The Disco)
10. Radioactive About To Blow (Imagine Dragons, Ke$ha)  <-- 
11. Where Did Last Night Go (Good Charlotte, Fall Out Boy)

#3 has two songs associated with it, because they are mashups of too many songs to possibly represent all the album covers in one picture without it being overcrowded. Warning - United States of Pop may induce severe memories and perhaps even nostalgia.

My favorite songs have a red arrow, and my favorite covers have a purple arrow.

I wish I had recorded Radioactive About To Blow. That one would've been a lot more impressive to watch me edit, if I do say so myself.

If I had to suggest just one song, it would be... damn, it's too hard to pick just one... Okay, I'd have to go with This Is Black Widow, but People Like Caraphernelia is equally as impressive, as far as opposing genres go. But I love Boulevard of Cool Kids too. Those are the holy trinity of my self-compiled mashup album so far.

This week has been a week for learning many new things. I may be studying abroad in Sweden next semester at Uppsala (they have a really good biology program, and it's in the top 100 universities in the world, so I'm excited). They offer an intro to Swedish course there, which I'd like to take, but in preparation I'm teaching myself the basics via an app called Duolingo. So I'm still procrastinating, but at least it's useful procrastination. If I'm successful in at least learning conversational Swedish, then I will know four languages. I never thought I'd be impressed with myself. Guess I better reach that bridge before I burn cross it.

I like creating videos of me creating artwork. The next post will probably include another one, but maybe not sped up as much because I don't need to include excess stuff at the end.

Until next time, then.

Ring In 2k15

I'd think that this year was rather hard for me, both emotionally and physically, but I'd also like to think that I did an okay job of pushing through. So my anthem for this past year of 2014 is -

The Fighter (feat. Ryan Tedder), by Gym Class Heroes:


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As stated in the post before this one, I dislike family reunions. For all that blood counts for, most of these people are strangers, as blunt as that sounds. I don't see them except three times a year, and some of them not even that much. I don't know how to talk to them, and they always make small talk - how's college, what's your major, I want to hear everything. I hate small talk because there's no interest, I have to keep answering the same question over and over again, and it gets stressful knowing how much to say and how long I should talk before I exceed the proper answer quota and start rambling.

So I'm not surprised I've enjoyed the car rides the most out of everything yet this whole vacation. I got a lot of new music, and didn't even go through it all on the six hour ride down to Southern California. We got there late, and my mother (a very sociable person) wanted to drop in on my grandparents before going to our B&B, but my dad and I knew that my grandma is just as, if not even more, sociable. In the end, we went to stay hi, and they kept us there from 8 PM to 11 PM, just talking. It was awful having to listen to them gab while I sat there bored.

I've figured out that there is hardly ever such thing as a rude extrovert. It's always (in my personal experience) the introvert who is rude for wanting to leave early, for wanting to spend quiet time alone, for being uncomfortable with obligatory conversations. I highly prize my quiet hours by myself, but I've been told that I'm "being rude" or "hurting other people's feelings" by being so reserved. But if people want to continue talking to me for hours after my tolerance level, they are perfectly within their rights and I just have to figure out how to endure.

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I do not have a memory for detail over long stretches of time. To be honest, I don't really remember much of this year. I mean, yeah, I graduated, I went to college, but it didn't feel like anything special. I had some great nights though, I'll try to list them:

• Prom after-party
• Graduation party
• Driving out to get tickets for the Blacklight Run
• Blacklight Run
• Sociology lecture about Race/Ethnicity, Culture, or Social Construction (I can't choose which)
• PTV/SWS World Tour concert

It's sad I can't remember anything more. To be honest, only the first, fourth, and last bullet points are the ones I really liked. Everything else was added to make the list look less pathetically short. I've heard a lot about other people not liking 2014 more than I did, like they thought it was going to be great and they turned out to be really wrong. To me, I'm neutral: there were many extremely good moments and many extremely bad moments. I can remember more of the latter, but I know there were fun parts this year too.

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I don't like the whole resolutions thing. It's nice that people try to set new goals for themselves, to better themselves, but it adds all this pressure to come up with something that's not a cliché. I'm not going to vow to go to the gym every week, nor clean up my room every day. I'm not going to lay off the sweets, or do something a day that scares me, because I've already accepted that bad days and thoughts and temptations are going to be very often for a horribly self-conscious and pessimistic person like me, and I'm not going to sugarcoat that inevitable reality like I've done before.

I just want to take life as it is. Better it where I can, but not get tied up in the things I absolutely have no power to change. So instead of a New Year's resolution, I'll start a new tradition. I have a empty Pirouette can in my dorm room and I'm going to fill it up with little slips of paper. On these pieces of paper are going to be written things that happen to me during days of 2015 - good, bad, funny, everything I will think was significant about that day. I'll write dates too.

I originally wanted it to only be about the good things, but I figured I may as well write the bad too, so I'll have proof of all these obstacles that I will have overcome. Think of it as a tough love pep talk. I also wanted to write a slip every day, but A) That'll fill up the can way too quick, and B) This blog has already taught me that I don't do well when I'm forced to do things on a schedule - that's why I abandoned my every-Friday schedule for posting and decided to just write whenever I feel like it.

So at the end of 2015, I'll have a whole can of tiny memories I forgot. I'll be able to remember all the things I usually forget, all the stuff that's lost in the white noise. Hopefully I'll want to keep some of those slips.

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My playlist of favorite songs released/I discovered in 2014, plus many that I've liked for a long time, but am no longer embarrassed of admitting anymore.

Not listed in order of importance, but those with arrows are especially dear to me, in that I was either obsessed with them for a long, long time, or they were the doorway to a new favorite genre:

2014 Musical Favorites:

1. You're So Creepy, by Ghost Town (Explicit)
2. The Sound of Madness, by Shinedown
3. Cool Kids, by Echosmith <-- <-- <--
4. Secret Valentine, by We The Kings <--
5. Cookie Jar, by Gym Class Heroes
6. Dead Hearts, by Stars <-- <-- <--
7. Do It Now Remember It Later, by Sleeping With Sirens
8. Touchin On My, by 3OH!3
9. Happy Little Pill, by Troye Sivan
10. I Found Away, by Alkaline Trio
11. The Kids Aren't Alright, by The Offspring
12. Miserable At Best, by Mayday Parade <--
13. My Chick Bad, by Ludacris 
14. Take Me To Church, by Hozier
15. Ten Thousand Feet, by I See Stars (Explicit) <--
16. Sad Song, by We The Kings <--
17. Top Of The World, by Greek Fire <--
18. King For A Day, by Pierce the Veil (Explicit) <-- <-- <--
19. Bleed It Out, by Linkin Park 
20. Rolling Stones T-Shirt, by Dada Life <--

Most importantly, though:

   21. I'm Low On Gas and You Need A Jacket, by Pierce the Veil <-- <-- <-- <-- <--

This song will never be the same for me again. Every time I hear it in the future, it's gonna take me back. See "This Is Gonna Be The Best Day Of My Life" for an extremely detailed explanation.

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Never forget the best headliner of 2014:

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Me for the next 3 months:

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Here's to 2k15. Don't let me down, man.

25 Underrated Pleasures of Life

Because it's kinda what I feel like doing during social gatherings:

I Just Wanna Run, by The Downtown Fiction


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End of the year holidays always stress me out. Not so much when I was a kid, but for the past many years I've half looked forward to, half dreaded family reunions. More on that next week.

In these times when it's easiest to be a pessimist, I try to find and enjoy the small pleasures, the scented roses by the side of the street that keep me from digging my pity hole too deep. Therefore:

25 Underrated Pleasures of Life:

1. Finishing something you really dreaded doing. It's a huge weight off your shoulders, as well as a sense of accomplishment all in one.
2. Lying awake in bed, listening to the rain and wind, morning or night.
3. Showering and drying off with a warm towel, then putting on a big T-shirt and getting into bed with freshly laundered sheets.
4. Lit candles in dim rooms.
5. Finally getting out the popcorn kernel that was stuck between your teeth.
6. Opening the window on a cold day and feeling the chill on your skin.
7. That moment when you see your waiter/waitress arriving with your food, and it looks the most delicious out of everyone else's.
8. Waking up early while also feeling well rested.
9. That little window of time when you're lying half awake and half asleep in the morning and you could easily just fall back asleep for a couple more hours if you wanted to and you realize you can.
10. The feeling of satisfaction when you're genuinely able to make someone laugh.
11. Falling on top of a fresh-out-of-the-dryer heap of clothes.
12. Hugs from people whose company you most enjoy.
13. Having the song on the radio finish at the exact moment as you pull into your driveway and turn off the car.
14. The noise a vacuum makes when it picks up something crumbly.
15. Taking heavy boots off after a long day.
16. That other little window of time between 2 and 3 AM when you're with your friends and your body finally gives up on going to sleep and you enter hyper mode and laugh at anything and everything.
17. A hot, scented bubble bath.
18. The smell of your favorite cup of tea or coffee.
19. That nice fuzzy moment when you're swimming for a long time and you tilt your head and all the water leaves your ear. 
20. Researching concerts/public speakers/anything you'd love to attend, and finding one you'd die to go to and it's in your area.
21. Walking from a cold environment into a warm room.
22. Someone playing with your hair. 
23. The way your heart vibrates when a firework explodes.
24. Writing with a new pen (not the cheap ones, but the ones that leave a really nice smooth line).
25. Seeing the sunrise out your window and realizing that you stayed up all night, but you can afford to sleep all morning that day.

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Merry Christmas Eve.