Friday, September 27, 2013

10 Myths about Introverts

If I were to say that I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't an introvert, I'd be lying. But I've been one for so long that it's just sort of become me. Like I would go to some place, and they'd say, "Hi! Tell us your name and one interesting thing about you!"

Hello, my name is JLD and I'm an introvert.

What would I even be doing there? Ewwww, society.

But anyways, I came across a really interesting article a couple years back, and everything it said was like a revelation. Know those times when you feel what you mean, but you can't put it into words? Every single bullet. This article is practically my Bible (no, not really, Harry Potter is my one true love) and every line is the absolute truth. If you're an extrovert, fix your stereotypes now if you haven't already; if you're an introvert, revel with me in this sweet nectar (and blue chocolate chip ambrosia) from heaven.

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

~Carl

I think the ones I relate to most are #s 1, 4, 5, 7, and 9. You put me with a new stranger and yeah, maybe I'll say something intelligent, but if more people arrive and I'm now in a room full of strangers who all know each other and not me, BOOM, insta-chameleon (sadly, I know I do this from experience). Maybe I'll just stand in the corner and pretend to text. #4 is probably the most me; I've never had above two best friends at the same time in my life (and the two best friends time only happened in kindergarten), but all of them were insanely close - I'd have trusted any of them with anything. I'd estimate I have maybe four to five close acquaintances, and the rest are just people I know but would feel awkward with alone. While this means I get interesting conversations every day, it's a bit hard thinking of people to invite to birthday parties.

Yes, I know that's pathetically lame. 


#5 gets me. I'm totally down for going to the mall/see a movie/shop/hike/whatever, but only for a couple hours. How do people do that all day and night? Maybe I'm just extra lazy. Unless there's food involved, three hours max before I start coming up with excuses to leave.

About #7 - I don't really think that's a myth, because weird = individualist, and I fully accept that I'm weird and do lots of irrational things, a lot that I probably regret later on. But I guess that myth means weird as in don't talk to that kid, they'll go all ape-shit crazy on you and your social reputation will fall around your ears because no one ever talks to them, etc. etc. Lastly, #9. Maybe it's just me, but how do people relax by going on adrenaline junk trips? Doesn't that defeat the purpose and make you more wound up and tense? Relaxation is, by my definition, a hot beverage, fluffy blankets and pillows, and a book. Maybe a sketchpad if I'm feeling extra creative that day. I can never relax if I'm suffocating from laughing too hard, or bungee-jumping, or doing whatever those people do to "relax."

If you want to read the whole article, go here. It's probably a lot more thoughtful and interesting than this piece of my mind here, but I never claimed mine would be better. My mind, I mean. What?

I'm going to stop here while I'm ahead. 

So, for today, let me play you the song of my people:

Wallflower, by Priscilla Ahn


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