Liquid Shards, by Callan Maart
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Let me tell you a story.
I was walking from dinner the other night with the girl I consider myself closest to, as of right now. Not because she's an awesome person, or because I really enjoy talking to her (though I do), but because she lives on the same floor as I do and it's easy to just meet up to go to places. Plus, she likes most of the same music I do (which isn't a necessary or important factor if lacking, but is definitely a plus if it's there).
Anyways, at the cafeteria some of the tables can be set rather closely together, and as I was moving to walk between two tables, another girl and her friend went to go there too. We both stopped because there obviously wasn't enough room for both of us, and motioned to the other at the same time to go first. She was persistent in staying put, so I went first and said, "Thanks," accompanied with a nod. And then before I was out of earshot, I heard her friend say, "Wow, that was like a nice-off!"
(I guess it was supposed to be a compliment, but it felt like a taunt, especially since it wasn't directed at me. No one I know likes being laughed at by a stranger. Be careful with casual words, people.)
Flash forward to leaving the cafeteria. There are two sets of doors, probably designed to minimize heat loss during winter (WHAT IS SNOW STILL) and they can be really heavy. As I open the door, I notice some other people are coming towards me, so I wait and hold the door for both of them. They both say thanks, and I can finally let go of the door (I'm not the strongest of people). As we leave, I tell my friend about my "nice-off" encounter, and we have a good laugh. She's silent for a bit then, clearly thinking, and then says this:
"You know, it's really surprising that you're so... nice? No, that's not exactly the word... It's surprising you're so polite, given that, you know, you're from the Bay Area and all."
And you know what? She's absolutely right.
She's not the first one to tell me this. My dad has frequently let me know that he thinks I have very strong morals, and a very secure sense of fairness. And I see where he's coming from. It drives me absolutely insane when people:
- Don't express gratitude when gratitude is deserved.
- Reason that if they don't do/get something, someone else will, and that's enough incentive to do/get it themselves.
- Put merchandise back sloppily or on a different shelf than where it's supposed to go (and I haven't even worked in retail before).
- Slip through the door as it's closing instead of propping it up for the people behind them.
- Are, just in general, inconsiderate.
- Think that because you are (indirectly, usually) paying for employees to serve you, you can have them do nearly anything for you because "it's their job anyways." No. You grabbed that merch yourself. You don't put it down in a different part of the store and say it's the employees' job to pick up after you (based on a true story). Their job is s*** enough, and you don't need to make it any harder for them. If they offer, that's fine. If it's an area where unwanted items are supposed to be discarded at, that's fine. But never assume.
- All these, among other things.
Sorry about that rant, but now you see how driven I am to show respect to any and all strangers. Even if I dislike them (though, of course, there will be (very few) exemptions made for those who need a reality check). It's not like it was a core value I was taught by my parents growing up, but it sort of happened anyways. And I know the stereotypes attached to people who grow up in the Bay Area. It's a dog-eat-dog world. I mean, have you even tried negotiating a car in the streets of San Francisco? You've got to be on alert at all times, because people sure aren't ever going to bother looking out for you. What's in it for them?
Back in high school, I heard from other kids about attitudes of other states regarding California, especially the attitudes regarding the biggest cities. I've heard everyone loves the fun, good-times Californians. I've heard everyone hates the arrogant, self-entitled Californians. Since getting here, I can understand how both viewpoints can be used as lens to see not just Californians, but specifically San Franciscans. Especially San Franciscans. Just take those lens and switch them out for ones with a higher magnification. I've got an expectation, a reputation to fulfill. And in some cases, I'm not willing to do that.
Back in high school, I heard from other kids about attitudes of other states regarding California, especially the attitudes regarding the biggest cities. I've heard everyone loves the fun, good-times Californians. I've heard everyone hates the arrogant, self-entitled Californians. Since getting here, I can understand how both viewpoints can be used as lens to see not just Californians, but specifically San Franciscans. Especially San Franciscans. Just take those lens and switch them out for ones with a higher magnification. I've got an expectation, a reputation to fulfill. And in some cases, I'm not willing to do that.
It makes me disappointed, knowing this is the major perception of people in large cities, where the environment teaches you that it's not worth being polite to people unless you can get something out of it. You're not here to make friends with the competition or with those below you, for the most part - you're here to get ahead. Respect your friends and family, and disregard the thoughts of everyone else.
(Actually, that could be applied to a lot of the rest of America. The whole drive to individualism, to succeed and better yourself constantly is a huge American ideal. Pro-capitalism! Hard work profits! Get out there and make your mark! To fail at that, well... the pressures to thrive in America is huge. Lots of big names out there to compete with. Not many are willing to be shunted aside.)
(Actually, that could be applied to a lot of the rest of America. The whole drive to individualism, to succeed and better yourself constantly is a huge American ideal. Pro-capitalism! Hard work profits! Get out there and make your mark! To fail at that, well... the pressures to thrive in America is huge. Lots of big names out there to compete with. Not many are willing to be shunted aside.)
After that comment my friend made, I feel myself on alert for how others act around me once they know I'm from the Bay Area. Do they seem fake when they exclaim how cool it must've been? Do they eye me with silent distaste when they think I can't see? Or are they genuinely excited to know someone who grew up in one of the safest bubbles on Earth? I can't see why they would.
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YouTube may be better known for having funny viral videos, but it also hosts a treasure trove of beautiful animated shorts. I've been going through many; it's amazing, the stories that can be told with no words at all. One of them was about a different perspective on Medusa: not as a rage-filled gorgon who seeks revenge, but as a severely depressed woman who lost everything she held dear. It's lovely, if a bit slow, but at the beginning was this quote:
Things are not always what they seem;
outward form deceives many;
Rare is the mind that discerns
what is carefully concealed within.
-Phaedrus 40 A.D.
I've been sad enough in my time to know how to conceal very well. I wonder if I just tell myself that, or did someone see through my facade? Were they too afraid of embarrassing me to confront me? Have I seen through someone else's, knowing them well enough that I didn't even realize they were trying to pretend?
I tell myself, constantly, to be sensitive to others. I suppose that's why I'm always so polite to those I do not know. Because that is the point - I do not know. I'm not following the old stories, like when, in Beauty and the Beast, the prince rejects the fairy queen's plea for shelter because she appears old and worthless. I'm not worried about regretting treating people wrongly, and thus not being able to reap the benefits when said persons are fit to give them in the future. I just don't want to make anyone feel the uselessness and sadness I've felt.
Now that I think about it, I'm conversely quite rude to my closest friends with my sarcastic banter. But it's my way of saying, "I trust you to know this isn't really me." I don't need to always be polite to them because, if I'm that rude, it means I know them really well and am comfortable teasing them. At least, that's what I tell myself.
(I mean, come on. No one can be an angel 24/7. If I'm going to unleash some insults on someone, it's going to be on the people I know won't be offended, and will shoot some insults right back at me. We'll both know neither of us really mean it.)
But I'll always wait for them so they don't have to walk alone, and hold doors for them so they don't have it slammed in their faces, and help them with any favor if it's within my abilities. I want to be the person people can depend on to be there always, and to not judge them - ever (Forgive me for using their motto as an outsider, but - "Semper Fi").Out of anyone in the world, my friends deserve that respect the most.
Screw what the condescending people think. The Bay Area is my hometown, and the best people I've ever known live(d) there. Not one stereotype is ever 100% true, and in the case of San Francisco - well, you get the jist.
---
YouTube may be better known for having funny viral videos, but it also hosts a treasure trove of beautiful animated shorts. I've been going through many; it's amazing, the stories that can be told with no words at all. One of them was about a different perspective on Medusa: not as a rage-filled gorgon who seeks revenge, but as a severely depressed woman who lost everything she held dear. It's lovely, if a bit slow, but at the beginning was this quote:
Things are not always what they seem;
outward form deceives many;
Rare is the mind that discerns
what is carefully concealed within.
-Phaedrus 40 A.D.
I've been sad enough in my time to know how to conceal very well. I wonder if I just tell myself that, or did someone see through my facade? Were they too afraid of embarrassing me to confront me? Have I seen through someone else's, knowing them well enough that I didn't even realize they were trying to pretend?
I tell myself, constantly, to be sensitive to others. I suppose that's why I'm always so polite to those I do not know. Because that is the point - I do not know. I'm not following the old stories, like when, in Beauty and the Beast, the prince rejects the fairy queen's plea for shelter because she appears old and worthless. I'm not worried about regretting treating people wrongly, and thus not being able to reap the benefits when said persons are fit to give them in the future. I just don't want to make anyone feel the uselessness and sadness I've felt.
Now that I think about it, I'm conversely quite rude to my closest friends with my sarcastic banter. But it's my way of saying, "I trust you to know this isn't really me." I don't need to always be polite to them because, if I'm that rude, it means I know them really well and am comfortable teasing them. At least, that's what I tell myself.
(I mean, come on. No one can be an angel 24/7. If I'm going to unleash some insults on someone, it's going to be on the people I know won't be offended, and will shoot some insults right back at me. We'll both know neither of us really mean it.)
But I'll always wait for them so they don't have to walk alone, and hold doors for them so they don't have it slammed in their faces, and help them with any favor if it's within my abilities. I want to be the person people can depend on to be there always, and to not judge them - ever (Forgive me for using their motto as an outsider, but - "Semper Fi").Out of anyone in the world, my friends deserve that respect the most.
Screw what the condescending people think. The Bay Area is my hometown, and the best people I've ever known live(d) there. Not one stereotype is ever 100% true, and in the case of San Francisco - well, you get the jist.
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