The Greatest Troll

Background music. Sorry if you run out of music before you run out of post, but this is a special subject to me and I rambled accordingly.

At Anchor, by Port Blue

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I broke a very special tradition this Tuesday of NOT running/skipping/gasping from happiness to the local quaint bookstore to purchase a very important installment. More importantly, I broke the tradition of doing that with a slightly more dignified, but hopefully just as happy friend. Instead, I had to hide my face behind my curtain of hair and grin wildly (and privately) as I rode the bus with an unaffected companion to the nearby, furthest-thing-from-quaint Barnes & Noble to get my book.

It was not quite as glorious, but a happy occasion nonetheless. 

If you do not yet know what book I speak of, it is The Blood of Olympus by my favorite personality author ever - Rick Riordan. Hereafter I will refer to it as BoO, because it is my boo and I love it. IloveitIloveitIloveit.

I'm going to dedicate this post to reviewing it and it's characters, but I realize that spoilers are a thing and would therefore like to make a statement:

This post has The Heroes of Olympus: The Blood of Olympus spoilers.

I was going to try and be as vague as possible so as to avoid any spoilers at all, but even then there will be some plot giveaway, and anyways, how does one rave about people and occasions without spoiling something?

Therefore, please please please do not read my review until you have read it yourself. I don't want to spoil such a good book for anyone unless they choose to spoil it for themselves.

Now that that's out of the way - 

RIORDAN, YOU SICK, WONDERFUL TROLL I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND LOVE YOU TO THE END OF TIME.

He's probably just sitting there like:

Watching all us fans be like:

And

Spoilers officially commence here. Last chance.

I will be honest, the beginning was a bit slow and confusing. I've recognized it as Riordan's style as of late to start a new book by jumping right in the middle of a scene as it's happening. This book begins with Jason, Annabeth and Piper being old or something -? Oh, wait, that's just Jason - wait, why is he old? And why is Annabeth is dressed up all pretty? That's the last thing I'd expect.... oh okay, they're climbing some mountain... but where? And to what purpose?

The book picks up from there as I started to understand what was happening and what had happened in the time between HoH and BoO, but it only really gets going for me around the halfway point (You will know this turning point later on in my character analyzation). The characters were just as dear as I remembered, and it would've been no trouble at all for me to finish the book that day had I not needed to attend to a pesky thing called homework. As it was, I finished it the next night anyways. Oops.

I'm trying to choose a favorite part and it's extremely difficult, but I guess I'll have to go with Hylla and Reyna's confrontation of Orion, and by extension Reyna's final battle with Orion. And of course Leo's happy-ish ending, because he is also my boo and I love him.

And Nico di Angelo.

And Piper McLean.

I should probably just break down the characters and scrutinize them individually. Bias will be applied.

The Wonderfully Crafted Characters of BoO

The Greeks:

• Perseus "Percy" Jackson - I've always been a sucker for dark hair and green eyes, and so I've loved Percy from the beginning. He was, and still is, an adorable dweeb who can be amazingly serious when he needs to be. In the previous books, he, alongside with Leo, is the main comic relief, and I'm a sucker for funny guys too. Now that I've said all that, he disappointed me a bit in this book. He was a bit more useless than usual (come on, you nearly caused the apocalypse with a nosebleed?) and had fewer than usual badass moments. But I still love him, because his fatal flaw is loyalty to his friends, and I respect him for that. As fatal flaws go, it's not a bad one.
• “'Hey, I’m a Poseidon kid,” he said. “I can’t drown. And neither can my pancakes.'”
• “'Oh, come on!’ Percy complained. ‘I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That’s not fair!'” 

• Annabeth Chase - Still an intelligent badass - now upgraded with a badasser dragon-tooth sword. But while I admire her intelligence, she always seemed a bit too stiff about anything illogical, a bit too - and I stretch the meaning of this word greatly - narrow-minded. Annabeth has good cause to think she's right all the time, but her lack of being able to consider new, crazy situations that defy the laws of science always kept her from being my favorite. So the best part for her in this book was when she was stuck with Piper in the cave trying to escape Mimas, the bane of Hephaestus. In some ways, Mimas is actually the perfect opposite of Athena, rather than Enceladus, because he is "the breaker of plans, the destroyer of the well-oiled machines. Nothing goes right in [his] presence... Devices break. Data is lost. The finest minds turn to mush!" (pg. 202) Annabeth of course does what is reasonably expected of any sane person trying to stay alive, but Piper - wonderful, magnificent Piper - convinces her to go against her reason and follow emotion instead. Piper chose the wrong escape tunnel. Piper cut the rope that lead out of the chasm. Piper purposefully went against all logic to keep her enemy off-guard. And guess whose method got them out alive? As Piper best puts it, Annabeth "can't control every contingency. [She] has to accept that. Let it scare [her.] Trust that it'll be okay anyway." (pg. 206)

• "'I’ve got an uncle and a cousin in Boston... I never see them. My dad and my uncle don’t get along. Some old rivalry.'" RIORDAN IF YOU DON'T MENTION ANNABETH BUMPING INTO MAGNUS I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL THROW YOU INTO TARTARUS MYSELF.
• "'Annabeth, you know Morse code?'
   'Of course.'
   'So does Leo.' Piper handed her the mirror. 'He'll be watching from the ship. Go to the ridge -'
   'And flash him!' Annabeth's face reddened. 'That came out wrong. But yeah, good idea.'"
• "'You ever seen the Parthenon, Percy?'" Annabeth in The Lightning Thief. HAHAHAHA CUZ YOU ABOUT TO GIRL.

• Leo Valdez - HE MAKES ME CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. As I've said, I have a weakness for wisecracking guys, and Leo is the epitome of that. I love how he can be so funny, but know when to step up and be serious. The fact that he sacrificed himself for the team, and found a way to still bring himself back from the brink - Godspeed, Leo, wherever you go. I don't need to tell you to treat Calypso right, because you clearly will. Speaking of, there was a jump in the book where he didn't know how to connect Odysseus' astrolabe and Calypso's crystal, and then in another part of the book it just magically appears, put together. How did that happen? Was I skimming too much again? Anyways, sacrifice and duty from the guy you least expect it from. Brilliant.
• "'Like your zodiac sign?" Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.'
   'No, stupid,' Leo said. 'I'm a Leo. You're a Percy.'"
• “'YEAH! WHO DIED? WHO CAME BACK? WHO’S YOUR FREAKIN’ SUPERSIZED McSHIZZLE NOW, BABY? WOOOOOOOO!'"
• “'If the statue engulfs people in fire, we should send Leo.’
  ‘I love you too, man.’"
• "Leo’s voice boomed over the loudspeaker: SURRENDER! YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY ONE SPANKING HOT WAR MACHINE!
  The giant Enceladus howled in outrage. ‘Valdez!’
  WHAT’S UP, ENCHILADAS? Leo’s voice roared back."
• "'Commander Tool Belt,' Jason said.
  'Bad Boy Supreme,' Piper said.
  'Chef Leo the Tofu Taco Expert.'"

• Piper McLean - To be honest, I never liked her too much. I love that she doesn't appreciate being underestimated because she's the daughter of Aphrodite, and that she basically controls the most primal power of all - emotion. But in this book, she officially became one of my most favorite characters. She's brave, beautiful, and smart - proof that you can be all three. BoO changed my previous perception of her, despite her major shift into this new, more confident personality happening in a different book. Although, in BoO her charm-speak becomes a lot more powerful. Can we talk about how she put Gaea back to sleep WITH JUST HER WORDS? I don't know. Maybe it was the way she handled Annabeth and Mimas that was so awesome. Maybe it was the way she took advantage of being underestimated to save Percy and Annabeth from the ring of giants at the Acropolis. Maybe it's because she bent Kekrops to her will like a total badass. And the fact that she took on Periboia by herself. Plus, blue feathers in her hair? AWESOMEST HAIRSTYLE EVER. NO BIAS. NONE. AT. ALL. Okay, maybe a little.
• “'Fear can’t be reasoned with. Neither can hate. They’re like love. They’re almost identical emotions. That’s why Ares and Aphrodite like each other. Their twin sons – Fear and Panic – were spawned from both war and love.'” 
• "Piper had also drawn her sword. 'Save yourselves! I'm too dangerous!'"
• "And why shouldn't Piper intimidate them? Aphrodite was the most ancient Olympian, born of the sea and the blood of Ouranos. She was older than Poseidon or Athena or even Zeus. And Piper was her daughter."

• Nico di Angelo - Where to begin. I can't even cover how I feel about Nico di Angelo in one paragraph. A) His angsty teenager days have finally ended, B) His bromance with Reyna, C) His bromance with Will Solace (Solangelo forever), D) His adorableness in general. Even though he was kind of a douche to everyone he knew after Bianca died, Riordan somehow made him lovable anyways. Like, instead of thinking, "Fine, have a nice life you douche," I'm always like, "I feel so much sympathy for you and just want you to be the happy little Mythomagic kid again." How do you do it, Riordan? Plus, Percy's reaction to Nico's confession of his crush was priceless. AND HIS WARDROBE CHANGES. He goes from a little ball of messy emo-rocker to having to wearing a bright tropical shirt. A tropical shirt. With palm trees and parrots and sunshine and everything. Best thing ever.
• "For the first time in his life, he had begun to fear the dark, because he might melt into it permanently." Thalia is afraid of heights. Percy is afraid of drowning. Riordan has completed the circle.
• "Thalia had said, He's hot.
  He's the sun god, Percy replied.
  That's not what I meant.
  Why was Nico thinking about that now? The random memory irritated him, made him feel jittery." You're thinking about that memory because you think the son of Apollo is hot now shut up and kiss him.
• "'Gods... Nico." Jason speaking for the entire fandom. 
• She’d felt more pain from Nico in their brief connection than she had from her entire legion during the battle against the giant Polybotes.” 
• "Michael scowled. 'Ambassador of Pluto, son of Hades... whatever you call yourself, you've been named an enemy spy. I've got orders to to take you in for execution.'
'You can try,' Nico said coldly. 
• "Some dogs need to be put down." Nico took a step forward. "Like you."
   

• Thalia Grace - Still a badass as usual. She didn't appear much in this book, but I feel so sorry for her that Orion killed so many of her followers. I loved Phoebe's attitude (and hair) and it killed me too when Riordan killed her. Thank God Thalia survived to impart wisdom to Reyna on her journey. I also feel like, in personality and looks, Thalia and Nico are siblings. Is it just me? 
• “Reyna had always thought of Jason Grace as the all-American boy. Thalia looked more like the girl who robbed all-American boys at knifepoint in an alley.”

• Gleeson "Coach" Hedge - First, let me just point out the irony of a guy as grumpy as Coach Hedge having a first name that could easily be shortened to "Glee." The only reason the seven are still alive is because they haven't made that mistake. Also, Hedge as a daddy goat? SO ADORABLE. He acts all tough and stuff, but when it comes to the people he cares about he is an unstoppable defender. He might be crazy and over the top, but at times he can also be a great mediator. Also, Buford the Table as Coach? Yes.
• "'PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!'" - via Buford the Table. Question - who was walking around naked? 
• "'Alright, enough talk." Coach Hedge sized up Michael Kahale. 'Let me take this joker down, I've handled bigger.'"

• There wasn't nearly enough of Grover, Tyson, or Rachel, all of whom are badasses in their own right, but I understand why their importance faded after the first series. 

The Romans:

• Jason Grace - Much like Percy, this book didn't do much for me when it came to Jason. However, I liked that he loosened up a bit. He's not as uptight, having-to-do-everything-right-all-the-time-because-that's-the-Roman-way Jason anymore. We even learn that he always purposefully went against the grain - joining the worst cohort, trying to escape his father's fame, but it always came around and elevated him to the fame he didn't necessarily want. But also, yay for him becoming the pontifex maximus. Yay for him for finishing what Percy started. And yay for him for being a baddie with glasses. Whatta four-eyed nerd. It's about time we got someone in the series who's got a pair (I am so sorry for that innuendo No I'm not).
• "Jason grinned. He loved the Greeks. They had no organization whatsoever, but they made up for it with enthusiasm.” I actually had to stop reading at this point, I was laughing so hard. 
• "Jason managed a weak smile. 'At least it wasn't a head injury this time. I stayed conscious the entire fight.'"

• Hazel Levesque - It seems like a lot of the characters have gone through their character development already in previous books, and have no room to surprise anymore. Hazel's a lot like this. She's already loosened up, gotten in touch with her past and her feelings, and throughout this book was basically the mother of the seven. And she's so good at it. While simultaneously being both the youngest AND the oldest of the seven. Whaaaat. I didn't notice her taking charge or using her earth-bending skills very much (and zero anxious gem-summoning - some character development), but still a character I like. I will say she has gotten amazingly good at her Mist-bending skills.
• "'And Hazel,' Leo said. 'Crazy Mist-magicky Hazel, you've got to cover for me. You're the only one who can... Our whole lives, mi amiga, they've been leading up to this.'"

• Frank Zhang - Same as Hazel and the others. He transformed the most in HoH, and now has entered his final badass form. He's still adorable though, like a whale shark. Not my best comparison, but whatever. Leo depends on him and Hazel to be true Romans (interesting how he doesn't go to Jason anymore for that, huh?) and as praetor, Frank really is a true Roman. But I still can't get over how innocent and pure he can be sometimes. Now that I think about it, Frank is a lot like a guy I knew in high school - a buff, extremely macho football player, but is also a really really sweet and chivalrous guy.
• “The ruins stretch from the river to the base of that mountain over there, about half a kilometer.’
  ‘How far is that in regular measurements?’ Percy asked.
   Frank rolled his eyes. ‘That is a regular measurement in Canada and the rest of the world. Only you Americans –’"
• "'Personally, I like cheating death,' Frank said.

• Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano - I never really had a favorite character for this series. For the first Percy Jackson series, Percy was obviously my favorite, but then this series happened and I kind of liked everyone equally, more or less. However, I didn't ever really like Reyna. I mean, I didn't hate her or anything, but she was always so stiff and angry and serious all the time. Plus the fact that she was rejected by both Jason and Percy just made me pity her. It didn't make me like her though, like Nico's anger somehow did. AND THEN THIS BOOK. Reyna is now my absolute favorite character. She makes me cry. And her bromance with Nico is one of the best things of this book. The way she confronts Orion with Hylla was the part that really got me glued to the book. And her struggle with being alone in a sea of couples. And her final battle with Orion. Generally, the thing that attracts me most to Reyna is her "girl power." Not the feminist overkill perspective of most of the Hunters and Amazons (which, IRL, I don't think should be the definition of feminism, and I dislike people who cry that rally. But that's a different can of worms). She doesn't look down on men as abhorrent monsters who only seek to make everything theirs. But she doesn't give in to male chauvinists either. Basically, she's the kind of strong, independent woman who don't need no man that I'd aspire to be. Reyna is my homegirl. Plus, what do you think Percy will say when he finds out that Reyna rode THEE Pegasus of legend? And that she's been named Horse Friend, an honor I think even he, the son of freaking Poseidon, doesn't have?
• “I don’t define myself by the boys who may or may not like me.” 
• "'My death means nothing.' If her friends could continue their question in peace, she was fully prepared to go down fighting. But first she intended to hurt this giant so badly he would never forget her name." 
• "'There are too many of them.' Reyna wondered bitterly how many times she'd said that in her demigod career. She should have a badge made and wear it around to save time. When she died, the words would probably be written on her tombstone: There were too many of them.” 
• "'A Roman does not wait for death. She seeks it out, and meets it on her own terms.'" 
• "'This is for Phoebe,' she snarled in his ear. 'For Kinzie. For all those you killed. You will die at the hands of a girl.'" My favorite serious quote in the entire book. 
• In general, pg. 371 - 375.

• Hylla "Twice-Kill" Ramirez-Arellano - I will no longer be referring to things as "hella cool," but "Hylla cool," because she is 2823738% cooler than anything else on the face of this earth. She's also not as intense about hating guys as the Hunters of Artemis are, which is so awesome. A little intense at times, but in a good way. Also her sisterly love for Reyna. Because I'm sure Reyna used to be all:

And Hylla would be all:

• Octavian - He needs to go die in a hole. That is all. Oh, wait... let me revise. He needs to be exploded in the sky in a glorious golden confection that by, through some cruel twist of irony and fate, he brought about himself. Yes, that will do nicely. Thank you, Riordan. You do everything right.
• "'Oh, I see!' Octavian's laughter was brittle and quite insane. 'Trying to steal my glory, eh? No, no, son of Pluto. I am the savior of Rome. I was promised!'" 
• "Leo had a weird memory of a missile hurtling toward him and screaming like a little girl... what the heck had that been about?" 

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Also, because Reyna is my favorite:

Heroes of Olympus: Alternate Titles
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano and Where the Hell is Jason
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano and Who the Hell are You
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano and Where the Hell are You Going
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano and Scipio Oh God
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano and I Don’t Need a Freaking Love Interest

Found and edited from post I saw on Tumblr to fit what I thought were more appropriate titles (Basically, this is by no means original, though I wish).

I don't know about anyone else, but the ending didn't seem like an "ending" to me. It felt like the series hadn't ended, and that it was set up for another book next year, what with the crew not finding out about what happened to Leo. However, that's the only weird part, despite it being so overwhelming.

Everything else was tied up pretty well. The way the Romans and Greeks fall into perfect sync after the battle made me happy. I love how Percabeth get to spend their senior year together, and then go to the college in New Rome (What name will they put on job resumés though?). Piper, Annabeth, and Reyna make the best power-trio ever. Chuck the baby satyr - squee. Clarisse the godmother - squee. Frank and Hazel going back to New Rome to be adorable innocents together and clean up Octavian's mess. Ella, Tyson, and Rachel going to New Rome to work on reconstructing the Sibylline Books. Piper as the ultra-mediator, and not because she's charm-speaking people into getting along. Solangelo "Will" go on in my heart. Leo and Calypso are seriously so perfect for each other, but I fully admit I'm jealous of Calypso. Yes, over a fictional character.

Will we ever know what happened in Albania?

So in conclusion:

My general reaction when getting this book, and then speed reading it. Excuse me now, while I go read it again.

In any case, it's been a good run, Rick. A dam good run.